Unwanted House Pets

Yuk. Yuk, yuk, yuk – that’s all I can say. I have a few pet hates. I like nature so long as it’s outside where it can roam free and chances are that I won’t see it. But there are a few of nature’s critters, that insist on coming inside and that’s where I draw the line. I’ll put up with flies, they’re mainly a nuisance in summer but the good old fly spray does wonders at killing them, although their death dance is annoying. And I’ll put up with the odd ant, sure it’s got a bite but I’ve got a rule, bite me and die, but there’s a few things I won’t put up with. Even the possum is preferable and he’s noisy, oh boy, is he noisy.

I hate cockroaches. Every time I see one, I cringe. I’m not alone in this. Most people when you just say the word, ‘Cockroach’, they cringe and say ‘Eeww.’ I have heard people scream when they see one.

I know they have their purpose, they are nature’s scavengers. They can eat anything and can survive without food for long periods of time. These things have survived from prehistoric times, so they’re not easy to kill off. We often joke, that if anything is going to survive an atomic blast, it’s the cockroach, but it wouldn’t surprise me, these things are tough.

But I can’t stand them. It’s not like they’re even pretty. No, they’re downright ugly but I’m sure someone likes their sleek style and reddish tinge. Fly spray doesn’t kill them, if anything it just makes them angry. And you have to spray them from underneath to do any kind of damage. I don’t like stepping on them because I hate the crunching noise of their body breaking underfoot. And they are fast, I mean these things are incredibly fast and they can turn and dodge just as quick. They’re also mean; I swear they deliberately chase you down.

Up there with cockroaches are spiders. I have a fear of spiders, so much so, that I will freeze if I see one. If it is near me I start to panic. Someone suggested watching the film ‘Arachnophobia’ to cure my fear of spiders. It worked so well that my fear has increased. Having been bitten by a few poisonous spiders, surely no one can blame me for not liking them in my presence.

I heard on the radio a guy from the museum explaining why spiders come in when it’s hot. ‘They have sensitive legs’ he said ‘so they come inside because the heat outside is upsetting them.’ They’re upset. They have sensitive legs, really, oh my gosh. Care factor, zero. I’m sorry, I don’t care, these things bite and their fangs hurt. I still have the fang marks from one encounter.

The huntsman are the worst, they like to scare you. Oh, they’re not poisonous but they do like to get into places where you’re likely to see them or come into contact with them. Like the poor guy who picked up his coffee cup to get a drink and found one inside. Shiver down spine moment. Or the guy who took off on his motorbike, builds up speed, flipped his visor down and found one on the inside – no wonder he had an accident.

But there are those that are poisonous and winding up in hospital is not my idea of fun. There are so many nope’s with these pests I don’t know where to start. No spiders, absolutely not allowed. Rule of house, if you’ve got 8 legs and come inside… you die. End of story.

A long time ago there was a mouse plague. I was up in the rural area and the mice were everywhere. There were so many that the cats gave up hunting them, they just let the mice run amuck. You just had to lift a sheet of tin of the ground or bang on the shed walls and they’d go running. I even woke up one night to find one looking at me. Yes, it gave me a fright, that is not what you expect to wake up and see.

Driving down the roads at night and they’d be streaming across the road. You had no choice but to drive over them, all you heard was a popping noise as you ran over them, but it made the owls very happy and very well fed, without having to do too much work. But I’m not a fan of mice.

Lately there’s been a lot of activity in the neighbourhood and surrounding areas. We’ve had a lot of houses ripped down in the neighbourhood and new ones being built but the problem is when they demolish and dig up the ground they disturb the mice and rats. And where do those vermin go? They find a new place to set up home which is usually the nearest house.

There is nothing worse than hearing something chewing or gnawing at night. Nothing worse than seeing a mouse or rat run across the floor or across the curtain rod. Mice are a little more tolerable. They tend to scurry away and almost apologise for disturbing you but rats. Those things will stare you down and dare you to deal with them. I’m so glad for the new self setting traps. No injured fingers or hands when using them.

Those are the house guests I don’t like entertaining and they know the rules. Enter and I see you, you die. I don’t like killing spiders, mice, rats or even cockroaches but I’m not setting up a breeding centre either. They can find somewhere else to inhabit. I don’t care where, so long as it’s not in my house. And now, I have to go explain to my cat, that her role is to kill the mouse, not make it her friend.


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